In 2019 i was offered a fantastic opportunity and a chance to work with in a field I loved. I wont mention company names this is more in order to protect myself as I am still recovering from the events even in late 2020. All was going well Despite a bizarre interview and information that was less and spectacular with the agency involved but wanted nothing more than to get off the restrictive JSA which has now been replaced with Universal credit. So I signed off and despite a training location change i was able to make it work. with everything set it was just a waiting game. I then got my training dates and it was go I was nervous this was something I had never done before I had worked in logistics in the past but never anything to do with customs. talk about new! the first day of training was overwhelming to say the least being handed a 200+ page training book and then having to know it enough to pass the knowledge exam at the end of the 2nd week. 2nd Week & Lockout! After a crammed first week of 8.5 hour days of nothing but learning everything possible from the training manual on the projector screen without overloading I was nearing the end point of the training and hello first problem I managed to successfully lock myself out of the systems I needed while learning how to use them oops!. Despite all the calamity i managed to pass my exam with 93% (think it was about that can't be sure now its a long time ago) anyway I was through and my time at the training centre was done. I was about to move into the main nerve centre at the nearby massive control centre so to speak. this was nerve racking at first but everything from the training started to fall into place and it was straight forward. Game over round 1 After a month on the Job and when brexit was delayed in April 2019 the end came we were called to the board room and given our dismissal orders. In order to get a full day's pay i stuck it out until the very last possible moment so that it would not be possible to reduce my pay the whole way it was done was really bad. I signed back on after this. Things come in two's & Start of hell After the first experience I did not expect i would ever do it again and in June I was contacted as potentially the contract was coming up again as brexit was being extended and asked if i wanted to do it again I accepted now in hindsight I wish I hadn't. I did not hear anything after this until I was in the middle of a well being course. In late August 2019 I got told it was happeninglike before the contract proceeded. Even though there was issues over money.Like before the dismissal orders came and unlike the first time I flared up this time and spoke out. I found out 3 first time agency workers were being taken permanent and we were not even considered. The company (not agency) had all its excuses primed I used some expletives in defence of my colleagues and myself. But before I said something I regretted walked out of the board room followed by my team leader. I was pretty upset I had worked really hard from start to finish. I even helped train another new team member but that meant nothing. Door to hell wide open After getting home I took time out before starting the process of getting my universal credit up and running again. A few weeks after this I thought I had landed the perfect potential job doing exactly the same job with another agency. While stressful the process was going ok and then in January it was pretty much set I did my security training course and was 2 days away from my training start and..... hell! My last agency employer was checked and they had recorded zilch and as a result I had a 2 month gap in my work history and could not pull a full 5 years history I was devastated they had not only done damage they went out of business days after being let go from their client. The Future and the impact on my Mental Health My Mental health was immediately torn to pieces. I couldn't really process it or understand why at first the job I had worked so hard to get was gone before my eyes. It is impossible to fully explain the feelings, I felt including anger, frustration, disappointment, and generally just why!. Where I am I now? My personal Mental Health is much better I had to undergo extensive CBT therapy as a result of this situation and the covid lockdown but I worked hard get onto a stable ground again. And now in December 2020 I have a new animal family member in the form of a tropical betta fish who is thriving and just watching him is enough to make me laugh and forget everything. While Nemix my Betta will continue to brighten my day its likely the employment impact will take several months if not years to heal I will continue to likely struggle for confidence and trust until someone help's me to rebuild this.
